I Wish Grandma Had Lived Forever

I Wish Grandma Had Lived Forever

I find myself walking down the path that almost wasn't

there, a path that I have made myself.

I am going to my grandmother's snowy tombstone

on Christmas Eve, because she is my only last relative

I have left, everyone else has left me, even if they

are alive.

I find myself walking, contemplating about life,

really, and anything that has been thrown at me

these past years. I am thirteen going on fifty.

All these years I wandered, dark and lonely,

wishing on a star that wasn't there, wasn't present,

wasn't omnipotent.

I know I will never be content as I was when I was a child,

and we lost my pet turtle that one day, Danny, my brother,

hid him in a box and he had climbed out somehow,

or the box had fallen over and he had crawled away.

He apologized to me after the incident, saying he hadn't

expected that to happen, just like I expected Grandma

to live forever.