Clean.

A deadweight paper forms on my arm
Like an igloo that stays outside-
To me, life is like a heartbeat that goes
Upside down, upside down.
Something for me to touch.
I rationalize dawn this way and something
Else in my mind comes clean:
What the day is like.
I have not seen the rest of this season riding
Like a bicycle in the park.  This is what I have:
Pens and paper and ink cartridges.  All alone
I stand, the river is red from kool-aid.
I seek help where there is none.  Tomorrow,
I will do more to help myself, help myself.
This is not my week.  Heaven has gone backwards.
The light is in my window, and I can see
A reflection in the light.  Tell me where have I been,
I have not seen anything but the light and it bugs
Me.  I wish I could fly off elsewhere, the night
Is too deep for me.  The color of the wind is short
And sweet, daybreak enters the wild wild wonder.
I am not here, so close to hear.  My ears feel like
Shadows of a broken dawn.  I am not trying to
Disappear.  I just want to be left alone for awhile.