Hear.

I can hear with my own ears. I don't know what I am able. The dinner is on the table. I am harboring my own fears. Shadows come, and I am near death. Plenty of fish in the sea if you ask me. I cannot wait for rest. This is my destiny. My mother calls me on her cell phone. I answer her when in the living room. She tells me she is not at home, I wait for my impending doom. The lover comes to call her, she dances like a dance. In the room, I befall her, this is her only chance. I wait for her at dinnertime, and still she does not return. Sometimes I think of losing mine, but my heart will forever yearn. Tomorrow is near, and tomorrow is here, still no lover comes calling. This is the thing that I most fear, that I am forever falling. I hear you, I hear you, in the depth of the night. The call is not getting through, now hear comes the fading of the light.

Steady.

I am here then I am not. I am focused. My needs are met. Broken now, I am still as the bone that binds us, stiller than the death that surrounds us. Into the night, the nightingale sings, foreign like a sword. I have eaten my scones, and drank my tea, and watched the world go by outside my window. But I am glad. Glad I have a house with a window, glad I have food, glad I have found a way to live the life I have always wanted. Shadows fade outside on the grass. A grasshopper jumps very high. Lunacy. The day is coming and I have to get ready. Tomorrow will be worse, or better, depending, but still I have a roof over my head, still I have eyes that see and ears that hear, still my lover comes to me. In the depths of the dawn, breathlessness comes, and I am steady.