THE LIGHT SHONE.

The light shone on the window glass.

Life is passing before my eyes.

I can't find myself listening to reason anymore.

I want to do what I want to do and what I

want to do alone.

My mom is knitting a sweater in the den.

It is getting colder outside.

It is autumn and it is time for baking pumpkin

bread and pumpkin cookies and making pumpkin

spice,

and time for Halloween and jack-o-lanterns and

everything in between.

I don't want Halloween to come.

I want to stay cooped inside though reading books

and watching television but meanwhile my life is

passing before me at each and every waking moment,

and I try and try to put it back together before it falls apart

like it always does, as it is falling apart now,

I am going one way and life is going another.

This is how it is going to be from now on.

This is how it will be every waking moment of my day.

Me going one way and the world going another.

It is getting colder outside and I am painting a picture

of autumn leaves falling,

and my mind is not on anything else.

YOU ARE.

You Are

The clash between beasts is utterly complete.

She speaks to me through her words.

Time is like a transcending void.

I am utterly whole.

The foreign land glares in the distance,

we go by boat, not by shore.

In the rising sun we find different ways

to keep us from floating out to sea,

from the rising sun to the horrid moon,

to the day that breaks and bends,

I am here waiting for you, my love,

as the tide fades away.

You are the river that waits for me.

I am the course of the action in the void,

I am the darkness that seeks out darkness,

I am the wading of the tide.

Night hides from me. It is broken.

The seeds of the grapes have been bitter and weep;

I weep along with it.

Nothing comes short of darkness,

bitterness fades to gray.

I am the wholeness and the light,

the darkness does not take me,

nor will take me in the night.

You are whole with me.

You are the grape to my strawberry.

MYSELF LOOKING.

MYSELF LOOKING

I found myself looking

at the glow of the lights of

the city

and everything looked surreal

in the dark

like in every house there were people

living sleeping playing

in all hours of the moonlit night

shadows bounced on the leaves

of the trees because the wind was

blowing

and it ruffled my hair and I called

out to you in the depth of the night

but you didn't answer and refuse

to

answer

still

THE VASE I WAS MAKING.

THE VASE I WAS MAKING

The sand paper rushes against the slowly

turning vase on the pinwheel that doesn't

run as smoothly as I hoped and I looked outside

and the sky was a little wishy-washy and I felt

like I was at the top of the world.

The world had me by the heels and I couldn't shake

off the feeling that something wasn't right and I looked

in my fridge and there was no food there.

The cupboard was bare as well and I got on my coat

and went into the rain and walked down the street

several blocks to get a whole bunch of food to

eat for the next four days and my mind was not

on food at the moment but what I was going to create next

because creating is all I know even more than food.

FOUND MYSELF.

I found myself

deep in a void

I can't get out

I can't refuse to breathe

like water receding

coming back in

the tide jumps

I am the rain

I flock like a flock of

sheep

they flock in meadows

made of pain.

In the summer I will flight

like a sheep that is in fight.

Airplanes run on runways

that are empty and void

I am void too.