Words.

Words I let words flow through me like the content of water. It trembles fast in my veins. I ache to hold it. Withered and drawn, the world remarks at how fragile it is, how vein. Tendrils of smoke rise up from the ashes of all that has been destroyed, in nothingness, in shame. Tenderly you wake, in the presence of the dawn, and I sleep in a world without war and shame. My mother is an alcoholic. I have shot an arrow of promise to the Lord, who wakes for me to slumber, and I dream and wake again and again. Hold onto this forgotteness that is a void, a rockstar of sorts, and the world willows in ashes that come through me, around me. I am here. I am not. Take all that is worth and leave me alone, far away into the dawn, and the willingness that comes forth into the great sky, and I feel things and I don’t. My mom likes dogs but I hate them. So soon it breaks.

War.

In the evening of my death, I am surrounded by war. Fallen angels, fallen heros, I know not what this is for. In the eve I do deplore, faith has fallen like an eagle. My mom buys another beagle. Where are you? The rivers that flow, and the seasons that come and go, take me fast or take me slow, I walk in time to what I don't know. In the end, I am not winding down, my mouth has been put into a frown, I look up left and then right, see the beauty of you tonight. Shadows fade and tides will end, you were gone, my faithful friend. All I have is what I lost, nothing is won at any cost. Take the world and let it dwell, into my mind where I can tell, all the worlds that we have known, into the land, our love has flown. Bridges fall, and people weep, in the night, you will sleep, take to heart, the day's apart, I will reside and not depart. All we found into the land, as our lover holds his hand, this land of mine I do not find, are given now a piece of mind. What is wrong is not right, I have not been gone tonight. All we fear is not clear, into the river, we hold dear. The world is black, and it's in ruin, I walk now upon the dune. The heart and mind will forever dwell, into the land, I cannot tell. Where we fall into the land, our heart will hold your hand, times have come and rivers run wild, laughing like a little child. In the seasons that we fear, everything has fallen near. Taken like the faithless night, here comes the light, here comes the light. You walk in fright. All the world where we go, no one has gone below. Into the heart where we can tell, the coming of night will listen well. Shadows fade back away, and gone I will forever stay. Night is mine and mine alone, I whisper lonely as a stone.

Hear.

I can hear with my own ears. I don't know what I am able. The dinner is on the table. I am harboring my own fears. Shadows come, and I am near death. Plenty of fish in the sea if you ask me. I cannot wait for rest. This is my destiny. My mother calls me on her cell phone. I answer her when in the living room. She tells me she is not at home, I wait for my impending doom. The lover comes to call her, she dances like a dance. In the room, I befall her, this is her only chance. I wait for her at dinnertime, and still she does not return. Sometimes I think of losing mine, but my heart will forever yearn. Tomorrow is near, and tomorrow is here, still no lover comes calling. This is the thing that I most fear, that I am forever falling. I hear you, I hear you, in the depth of the night. The call is not getting through, now hear comes the fading of the light.

Steady.

I am here then I am not. I am focused. My needs are met. Broken now, I am still as the bone that binds us, stiller than the death that surrounds us. Into the night, the nightingale sings, foreign like a sword. I have eaten my scones, and drank my tea, and watched the world go by outside my window. But I am glad. Glad I have a house with a window, glad I have food, glad I have found a way to live the life I have always wanted. Shadows fade outside on the grass. A grasshopper jumps very high. Lunacy. The day is coming and I have to get ready. Tomorrow will be worse, or better, depending, but still I have a roof over my head, still I have eyes that see and ears that hear, still my lover comes to me. In the depths of the dawn, breathlessness comes, and I am steady.

To See.

The shadows fall on the ground. The sun goes up and down. I am falling, gently falling, like I am a swimmer in the ocean. Sometimes I like to pick up shells at the beach. I am tethered to the sun, sometimes I wear glasses to make me go blind but I never do. In the night, when I am alone, I feel solitude and broken bones. Old faces, old voices stand up, rise up beyond my vision. Tomorrow I will see the sun, my lonely friend comes once again. Once in a full moon, really. She has dark spots on her face. I don't see this as an interface. I pout and run into the rain. It falls on my face. I can't see anymore.

THE BIRDS ARE CRYING

The birds are crying “Whoooo, whoooo, whooo,”

in the morning sunlight that sweeps the land at 5am,

a dapple of sun on the grass.

I am not shattered. I am whole. Like a dandelion

in the breeze, I rise and find myself enjoying

life more and more, by myself or with someone.

I know there are shadows in the morning, less

in the evening during summertime, and I play in

the kiddie pool with my four-year-old son,

I still tell him his daddy is off at war, and that he is

sick and dying, even though he cheated on me with

my third cousin and is now living with her in Las

Vegas, Nevada, near the Alien Highway.

I don’t know if there is such a thing as aliens,

or how they move through space, without a spaceship,

or with, and if they speak a language that is different

from our own, or maybe they just like writing like

me, I form a little “o” of words, my head nodding

in rhythm to the music, tonight I sleep and dream

of a man who is worthy of my love, worthy more

of my son, worthy of how we live.

It’s not what you say but how you say it,

and dive to the bottom of the ocean and come back up again,

and again, and again.

I MADE A HOME.

I Made a Home

I made a home for me and Bob.

He was an expert on garden Hoses.

He would get up early in the morning

and feed and water the horses,

while I was still asleep-I am thankful

for the time I get to spend with Bob,

he is adorable and faithful,

and he loves me. Bob and I met

at a local bar some time ago,

and he asked me out, liking how

I looked, with my flowing red hair

and billowing smile. Though I never

liked my smile, it was a bit redundant,

and I was a bit suspicious of him

at first, because no man had ever paid

any attention to me before-I was always

left at home with someone else's kiddos,

the baby-sitter and occasionally the

nanny. I wasn't the teacher's pet by

any means, and I loved where I was,

hoping and praying we would have

children.